Missing Touch
by xRachelxBrowniex
Summary: Holly Oswald is the younger sister of Clara Oswald. Alone, depressed and unable to cope with life. She had nothing to live for until Clara introduced her to The Doctor. The man that gave her a way out. **TRIGGER WARNING!** - [SELF HARM/ABUSE/SUICIDAL THOUGHTS]
1. A Trip in the Past

**Missing Touch**

**Summary:**

Holly Oswald is the younger sister of Clara Oswald. Alone, depressed and unable to cope with life. She had nothing to live for until Clara introduced her to The Doctor. The man that gave her a way out.

**Chapter 1 – A trip in the past**

What defines us?

Our choices?

Our looks?

Our feelings?

If I feel like I'm nothing – is it true?

Some days, I look in the mirror…and I just wanna cry.

I think of all the mistakes I've made. All the people I've hurt.

Am I a mistake?

If I accomplish my goals – will that make me better?

If I lose the weight – will that make me beautiful?

If I changed everything – would I finally be worth it?

_**Friday 16th March 2012 – Age 11**_

I hate life and life hates me.

Everyone and everything.

I've been at Coal Hill School for about 6 months – bullied on the first day…and every day since then. Guess that's year 7 for you.

My sister works there. Clara. Well, at school I have to call her Miss Oswald. I avoid her as much as I can. She can't know the truth.

Right now I'm about to do something I know I'll regret. I have a razor in my hand with my right sleeve rolled up. I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath, before I lowered it towards my arm and piercing the letter 'W' into my wrist.

I continued carving until I'd drawn blood from each cut and engraved the word 'worthless' into my lower arm. I felt relieved of stress and worry while cutting but the moment I stopped the pain returned on top of the stinging sensation now pulsing through my arm.

I put the razor on the floor and examined what I had done to myself.

I heard Clara knock on my door and was about to hide everything when she walked in.

Her eyes locked on the blood and her body froze before she ran to me, knelt down and immediately put her hands over my cuts to help stop the bleeding. I started feeling faint from the sight of deep red blood and eventually ended up breaking down into tears. I sobbed into Clara's shoulder and held her tightly.

"Shh, shh. You're ok." She soothed, rocking me back and forth like a baby. "Let's get you cleaned up, we'll make a hot chocolate with whipped cream and marshmallows and then we'll sit down and talk." Clara said softly.

_**35 minutes later**_

"So what's going on? What's so bad it's got you in such a state you would self harm?" She asked.

I remained silent. I couldn't tell her. Clara would **hate **me!

"Ok…" She said awkwardly, noticing this would be a long and difficult conversation. "You cut the word 'worthless' into your arm and I rarely see you at school so I'm guessing the problems there. Am I right?" I nodded. "Are you being bullied?" I hesitated before nodding, realising it was better to just be honest. "You could have spoken to me, I would have helped." She said sadly.

"I'm sorry…" I muttered.

"You're eleven. You shouldn't have to think you are worthless because you're not. Not to me. Not to anyone." She explained.

Clara gave me a smile before pulling me into a hug.

"I love you, don't ever forget that. I will help you through this. Whatever happens, we'll face it together." Clara said sweetly.

I nodded before returning to hug and burying my head in the crock of her neck.

_**Monday September 29**__**th**__** 2014 – Age 13 (Present Day)**_

I walked through the school corridors with my head down and my arms wrapped around me in protection.

'Make friends' my therapist said.

'It will help' my therapist said.

But it doesn't. Trying makes me feel worse because I'm always rejected. Always alone.

I'm just the depressed girl with mental problems. Nobody cares.

Why do I get like this?

Go through stages worse than others where I'd do anything to just die…

I knocked on the door to Clara's classroom and waited.

"Come in." I heard her say.

I opened the door and stepped in, putting my bag on the floor and looking at her with desperation.

"What's wrong?" She asked, just as the first of many tears slipped down my face.

"I just – I wanna get away from all this you know. I wanna forget about all this somewhere far away…" I whispered.

"Your last lesson is English with me. Then, you and I are going to see a good friend of mine. He'll take us somewhere." She said softly.

I was confused as to what she meant by that but didn't say anything.

I sat through English rather silently – like always.

I couldn't bring myself to talk or even divert my eyes off the pages in front of me.

As the school bell chimed signalling the end of the day everyone packed up and left leaving just me and Clara.

"Let's go." She said.

I walked to the caretakers room with her and she walked in.

"Your good friend you were on about is the caretaker!?" I asked shocked.

"Urr…yeah, about that. He's not really a caretaker. Well he is – just, he's a lot more than that." She explained.

There was a blue box in the corner of the room.

As we walked up to it I got a strange tingling sensation run through my body.

She knocked before entering and grabbed my hand to lead me in.

"Doctor!" She said cheerfully, walking over to him with me in tow.

"Hi Clara." He said.

"Meet my sister." She said.

He looked up at me – studying me head to toe.

"Holly, The Doctor, Doctor, Holly." She introduced.

"Hi." I said shyly.

"Well, aren't you talkative." He said sarcastically.

"Don't mind him." She whispered to me. "So, where are we going?"

"We? What, you me and her?" He asked.

"Yeah." Clara replied.

"America!" He said before pressing a few buttons and pulling a few levers.

_**Hope you enjoyed the first chapter! It will go into Doctor Who more now.  
>I just needed to introduce Holly and her relationship with Clara.<br>To clarify, she lives with Clara – long story for another chapter :)**_

_**The beginning with all the questions before we go back to when we were 11 is the speaking part of the song 'You're Worth It' by CIMORELLI. You can find the song (including that part) on their vevo channel: cimorellivevo.**_

_**Please Follow, Favourite and Review because we all love each other (I hope)!**_

_**Love to you all, **_

_**Rachel :) xx**_


	2. Angel Entrapment

**Thanks for the support!  
>Disclaimer: I don't own Doctor Who. If I did, I would have already gained power over the entire world.<strong>

_**Chapter 2 – Angel Entrapment **_

_**Holly's P.O.V**_

"So, behind those doors is America?" I asked astounded.

"Yes. Though, to be more precised: The National Museum of American History in Washington, D.C." The Doctor stated.

"Why a museum?" I asked bluntly, following him to the doors.

Out of all of space and time – we ended up in America.

"Because…" Clara started, grabbing my shoulders. "It will be more interesting than you think." Clara finished.

I followed them out of the TARDIS and onto the busy streets of Washington. Before me stood the mighty Museum of American History.

As I took in my surroundings, two angel statues that stood either side of the entrance caught my attention. I felt like they were watching me but that was impossible as their hands hid their eyes.

"What year is it?" I quizzed.

"2000. Beginning of a Millennia." The Doctor answered.

I shook off the feeling and trailed the others inside.

I gasped. The place was massive!

I spun myself around, looking at what was around me.

"Wow…" I muttered.

"Founded January 1964, The Museum has a collection of more than 3 million artefacts displayed in exhibits and within the archives that focuses on American history and culture. It is one of the most well known places in the world and in the last year has taken in hundreds of more exhibits." The Doctor explained.

"How do they have room for all the exhibits?" I quizzed.

"They don't. Since they got all of these extra exhibits, everything imported to them has been placed in the vaults; left as unwanted storage." He stated.

"But…why import them if they don't have enough room?"

"You're all about the questions, aren't you?" The Doctor said.

Clara pulled me back.

"Holly, let's not play 20 questions. Why don't you go and have a look over there." Clara suggested, pointing to some nearby statues.

I nodded before walking off.

_**Clara's P.O.V**_

"She goes from Hendrick Avercamp to Eugene McCarthy." The doctor muttered.

"Yeah…sorry about that. She's usually rather shy and inaudible but every now and then she has a spark of confidence." There was a silence. "You don't mind do you? You know, her being here." I said.

"It's fine. You have your reasons for bringing her. If she needs a break them I'm always happy to help. It's what friends are for." He said.

I smiled before hugging him.

"Ur, Clara…not the hugging type." He said.

I pulled away, straightening his suit.

"Sorry, still getting used to that." I clarified.

_**Holly's P.O.V**_

I walked over to the three angel statues by one of the windows, identical to the angels outside.

I admired them for a few moments before diverting my eyes to the plaque placed next to them and began reading it.

"Mary's Gargoyles originated in Italy thousands of years ago. They are said to have watched over Mary – sent from God himself as the Angels of Heaven. Throughout the ages, they have remained on their original site, watching over the people of Italy."

I looked up and smiled at them. They seemed so gracious and heavenly.

"In 1823, a man by the name of Angelo Colossanto believed these heavenly Angels were able to move on their own. No-one believed his crazy theory and by 1847, Angelo hung himself after the Angels began to 'torment' him."

I looked up, peering back at them. Now they didn't seem so gracious. More creepy.

"Documentations and recordings have been collected all across the world about the activity of these statues. However, it is said that they have been dormant for centuries and will only awake when the chosen one has been identified."

Just as I finished reading the lights flickered and when I looked up I could have sworn the Angels had moved closer.

"Told you this would be interesting." Clara said, coming up behind me.

"It moved." I whispered, keeping my attention fully on the Angels.

"Ha. Ha." Clara said sarcastically.

"Clara, I'm not joking." I said seriously.

"Holly, look at me." Clara said sternly.

"I – I can't. It will m-move." I stuttered, my brain telling me to panic, my eyes stinging and beginning to water.

A few moments later I felt the presence of The Doctor next to me.

I could feel his breath on my shoulder as he inched closer to me.

"Don't blink." He whispered in my ear.

Now I was panicking and Clara knew this as she grabbed my hand reassuringly.

"Doctor, what do we do?" She questioned.

"Right, we all need to get back to the TARDIS." The Doctor announced.

"But it moved…" I said, still in shock.

"Yes, it did. That's what they do." He said.

"I know that. But the plaque said they'll only move once they've identified the chosen one." I explained.

"Doctor, what does that mean?" Clara questioned.

"I don't know. I've never heard anything like that before." He murmured.

"The plaque said: it is said that they have been dormant for centuries and will only awake when the chosen one has been identified." I recited.

"Well, we need to work out what's going on here and why they need a chosen one." The Doctor said.

_**Thank you for reading!**_

_**In the part when The Doctor said: "She goes from Hendrick Avercamp to Eugene McCarthy." It's because Hendrick Avercamp was mute and hardly spoke whereas Eugene McCarthy was talkative and every now and then, annoying. **_

_**Keep reviewing as we all love each other.**_

_**Love to you all, Rachel :) xx**_


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